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These are all the South Park episodes, movies and games I would alter:

Volcano:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on both Randy Marsh and Jimbo Kern, truly making this the first episode to focus on the adults rather than the children.

Mecha-Streisand:

  • Have Mecha-Streisand's design be primarily based off Mecha-King Ghidorah rather than Mechagodzilla but fully mechanical and the arms and the dorsal plates kept from the actual design.
  • Have the episode end with Diamond of Pantheos placed inside a box which would then placed inside a warehouse named "Red Cross 9/11 Relief Funds" instead of Kyle throwing it into a bin just for Ike to get it out and use it to become a giant.

Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus:

City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks):

Chickenpox:

Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods:

Spookyfish:

Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode that features a trilogy of Christmas tales that focuses on Eric Cartman spending Christmas with his relatives alone in the first act, Kenny McCormick in the second act and Stan Marsh and Wendy Testaburger in the third act aired on December 9, 1998.

Rainforest Shmainforest:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused on Kenny McCormick aired on April 29, 1998 and also have it be the episode where Kenny turns 9.

Jakovasaurs:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused on Jerome "Chef" McElroy aired on April 29, 1998.

Sexual Harassment Panda:

Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman, sitting by a camp fire, tell scary stories to one another to see who's story is the scariest with each of them taking a turn with each act of the episode and Stan being the one to tell the scariest one of the three during the third act aired on October 27, 1999.

Starvin' Marvin in Space:

Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics:

Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Stan Marsh spends New Years with Wendy Testaburger aired on December 29, 1999.

World Wide Recorder Concert:

The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000:

Quintuplets 2000:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Kenny McCormick aired on April 26, 2000.

Cherokee Hair Tampons:

Chef Goes Nanners:

Pip:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused on Butters Stotch aired on November 29, 2000.

The Wacky Molestation Adventure:

Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow:

Proper Condom Use:

Towelie:

Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants:

The Entity:

Fun with Veal:

The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer:

  • Change the air date to March 27, 2002.

The Death Camp of Tolerance:

My Future Self n' Me:

  • Erase the future Cartman scene from existence.

Toilet Paper:

I'm a Little Bit Country:

South Park is Gay!:

Christian Rock Hard:

  • Push back the air date to November 5, 2003.

Grey Dawn:

Butt Out:

Goobacks:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Heidi Turner aired on April 28, 2004.

Douche and Turd:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Red aired on October 27, 2004.

Quest for Ratings:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Sharon Marsh aired on November 17, 2004.

Cartman's Incredible Gift:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Red aired on December 8, 2004.

Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina:

Die Hippie, Die:

Wing:

Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow:

Marjorine:

  • Push back the air date to November 2, 2005.

Follow That Egg!:

  • Push back the air date to November 9, 2005.
  • Have the scene where Herbert Garrison finds out that Mr. Slave is planning to marry Big Gay Al once the Colorado governor legalizes same-sex marriage take place before he starts the egg project in class instead of after and have him pair Kyle with Cartman, Heidi with Craig and Stan with Red.

Ginger Kids:

Trapped in the Closet:

Free Willzyx:

  • Change the air date to November 16, 2005.

Bloody Mary:

  • Change the air date to November 30, 2005.

The Return of Chef:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Sharon Marsh aired on March 22, 2006 and also have the character of Jerome "Chef" McElroy retire until the passing of voice actor Isaac Hayes in August 10, 2008 instead of killed off.

Smug Alert!:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Red and Annie Nelson aired on March 29, 2006.

Cartoon Wars Part I:

Cartoon Wars Part II:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Herbert Garrison aired on April 12, 2006.

A Million Little Fibers:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Wendy breaks up with Token after realizing that her relationship with him isn't working out aired on April 19, 2006.

ManBearPig:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with a Mother's Day episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Sharon Marsh aired on May 3, 2006.

Tsst:

  • Change the air date to April 26, 2006.

Mystery of the Urinal Deuce:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Stan Marsh and Red join a muffin cooking class aired on October 11, 2006.

Go God Go:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Token Black and Jason White aired on November 1, 2006.

Go God Go XII:

Stanley's Cup:

With Apologies to Jesse Jackson:

  • Erase the Randy, Stan and Token subplot(s) from existence and replace it with a subplot that focuses solely on Token Black and Jason White and change the title of the episode to "Words Are Like Bullets".

More Crap:

  • Push back the air date to October 17, 2007.

Imaginationland Episode I:

Imaginationland Episode II:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Heidi Turner aired on October 24, 2007.

Imaginationland Episode III:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Red aired on October 31, 2007.

The List:

Britney's New Look:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Bebe Stevens rediscover her former feeling for Kyle Broflovski and that both of them end up together at the end of it aired on March 19, 2008.

Over Logging:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Stan attempts to fight back when Shelly keeps beating him up with special guest appearances from both Jason David Frank and Mr. T both of whom would help Stan by training him to learn their skills aired on April 16, 2008 as the final episode where Shelly beats up Stan.
  • Have the climax of the episode be Stan actually fighting back against Shelly using the skills he's learned from both Frank and Mr. T with a beaten up Shelly also failing to tattle on him after receiving her very long overdue comeuppance.

Super Fun Time:

The China Probrem:

Pandemic:

Pandemic 2: The Startling:

Margaritaville:

Eat, Pray, Queef:

Fishsticks:

  • Push back the air date to April 15, 2009.
  • Add the scene where Kanye West was revealed to have died from being in the water too much into the actual episode itself.

Pinewood Derby:

Butters' Bottom Bitch:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with part 2 of "Whale Whores" where South Park Elementary must change their school mascot after Stan revealed to Japan that chickens and cows were the real bombers that drove Enola Gay and that students must vote between dolphin and whale to replace cow as their mascot aired on October 21, 2009.
  • Have the title of the episode be "Dolphin and Whale".
  • Have the episode end with dolphin actually winning the vote and officially replaces cow as South Park Elementary's school mascot with no interruptions of any kind that would save cow from being replaced.

W.T.F.:

Whale Whores:

  • Change the air date to October 14, 2009.
  • Replace the FinalGoji design with the KiryuGoji design as the look of the Godzilla statue Stan used to scare away the Japanese from SeaWorld, change the color of the statue itself to charcoal black and actually have Godzilla's roar from the movies, the extremely long Showa series roar more specifically speaking, also be used in the scene itself.

Dances with Smurfs:

Sexual Healing:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where the Marshes take a vacation to Africa where Stan Marsh would eventually be given the ability to talk to animals by a tribe aired March 17, 2010, but actually keep Stan's ability to talk to animals for the rest of the series instead of having him eventually revert back to normal.

The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs:

Medicinal Fried Chicken:

  • Replace the scene of Cartman getting KFC gravy from the Methadone Clinic with the scene where he riots around during class resulting in Herbert Garrison telling him to go see the counselor.

You Have 0 Friends:

  • Replace all of Stan and Wendy's scenes with this episode's deleted scene.

200:

201:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Sparky aired on April 21, 2010.

Crippled Summer:

  • Erase the Towelie subplot from existence.

Poor and Stupid:

It's a Jersey Thing:

  • Have Stan not be with Kyle and Kenny in the scene where Cartman tries to lock Kyle up in the meat freezer at the Sizzler so that the scene where Stan finds Snooki in his backyard, offers her Reese's Pieces and takes her somewhere for her to hide can be included in the episode itself.

Crème Fraiche:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused on Jerome "Chef" McElroy aired on November 17, 2010.

Funnybot:

You're Getting Old:

  • Erase the Stan subplot from existence, as he already had his 10th birthday back in "Whale Whores", and have Randy and Sharon's conflict throughout the episode which would eventually lead them into getting a divorce happen for a different reason that has absolutely nothing to do with Stan at all, and also have their eventual divorce be permanent.
  • Have this be the final appearance of Shelly Marsh, as she gets killed in an accident.
  • After the divorce, have Stan and Sharon remain in Marsh Residence instead of moving to a different place like in "Clubhouses".
  • Change the title of the episode to "I'm Unhappy".

Ass Burgers:

Bass to Mouth:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Kyle Broflovski, Butters Stotch and Bebe Stevens aired on October 19, 2011 and also have this be the episode where both Kyle and Bebe understand that their relationship with one another isn't working out for them anymore and willingly and respectfully break up with each other and also accepting one another as just good friends.

Broadway Bro Down:

Reverse Cowgirl:

Cash For Gold:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Marvin Marsh passes away aired on March 21, 2012 and also have that event take place in the climax of the episode's third act with buildup eventually leading to it throughout the rest of the episode.

Faith Hilling:

Butterballs:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Randy Marsh as the episode that eventually parodies Jason Russell's breakdown in San Diego, California where he was caught masturbating in public and disrupting traffic aired on April 11, 2012 and also have this be the episode which reveals that Randy has moved to an apartment after the events of "I'm Unhappy".

I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Kenny McCormick and Butters Stotch where Butters does not act like an angry jerk towards everybody around him for any reason at all aired on April 18, 2012.

Cartman Finds Love:

  • Have Bebe eventually find out about Cartman's plans on driving Nichole away from Kyle and take action into foiling his plans, actually succeeding and get him arrested, suspended from school and grounded for his actions throughout the episode resulting in Kyle thanking Bebe for going through all this for his happiness with Bebe giving Kyle a friendly wink.

Sarcastaball:

Insecurity-Going Native and A Scause For Applause:

A Nightmare on Face Time:

Let Go, Let Gov:

Informative Murder Porn:

Taming Strange:

Ginger Cow:

The Hobbit:

Go Fund Yourself:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Sharon Marsh and Mr. Mackey aired on September 24, 2014.

Gluten Free Ebola:

The Cissy:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Red and Heidi Turner aired on October 8, 2014.

The Magic Bush:

Freemium Isn't Free:

Cock Magic:

#REHASH:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Token Black and Jason White aired on December 3, 2014.

#HappyHolograms:

Stunning and Brave:

  • Replace the entire plot after PC Principal's introduction, as Bruce Jenner was already killed in "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" before he could become Caitlyn Jenner in real-life, with one that builds up and eventually leads to PC Principal coming over to Marsh Residence for dinner in the third act of the episode so that he could pledge shame on Randy only to find out that Stan's parents had already divorced back in "I'm Unhappy" forcing the shocked and embarrassed PC Principal to really let himself get treated with the dinner Sharon prepared.
  • Change the title of the episode to "Dinner with PC".

Where My Country Gone?:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where PC Principal finds out where Randy Marsh currently resides and pledges shame on him for his moronic and violent behavior over the years with a subplot involving Eric Cartman trying to get PC Principal framed for child molestation only to fail at the end and that Herbert Garrison does not get fired from his job at all aired on September 23, 2015.

The City Part of Town:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Eric Cartman and Randy Marsh work together to bring down PC Principal only fail at the end aired on September 30, 2015.

Safe Space:

Tweek x Craig:

Skank Hunt:

  • Replace the entire plot of the episode with one that builds up to Heidi Turner eventually finding out that Gerald is Skankhunt42 and expose him to everybody causing Sheila to furiously berate him before eventually divorcing him permanently and have the episode end with Kyle and Ike becoming the most hated kids in South Park Elementary with Nichole breaking up with Kyle and the final shot of the episode being Stan ending his friendship with Kyle.

The Damned:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Red takes Stan out spending some time together to help him get over the Skankhunt42 incident and having to end his friendship with Kyle because of it with the two eventually forming a friendship that's close enough in similarities with Stan's former friendship with Kyle and both of them even acknowledging, understanding and accepting that they can't really be in a relationship together as they're already in one each with Wendy and Kevin respectively aired on September 28, 2016.

Wieners Out:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Cartman would attempt to get Token and Nichole to end up together now that the latter had broken up with Kyle two episodes earlier, only to not just fail because of his own inability to realize that Nichole isn't ready to be in a relationship again for the moment but also indirectly start the Gender War himself with Stan, Wendy, Red and Kevin not knowing about it until the very end of the episode for being somewhere else when it was happening aired on October 12, 2016.

Douche and a Danish:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Stan, Wendy, Red and Kevin would attempt to stop the Gender War before it gets worse and actually succeed aired on October 19, 2016.
  • After Stan, Wendy, Red and Kevin had successfully stopped the Gender War, have all the kids in school except for Stan, Wendy, Red, Kevin, Kyle and Ike chase then beat up Cartman for starting up the Gender War.

Fort Collins:

Oh, Jeez:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Kenny McCormick and Tammy Warner aired on November 9, 2016 and also have Kenny be unhooded throughout the entire episode.

Members Only:

Not Funny:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode that builds up and eventually leads to Kyle and Ike winning back everybody's respect for them aired on November 30, 2016.
  • Also reveal in the episode that, after divorcing Gerald, Sheila had been working out to burn out her frustration over the events of "Skank Hunt" with Sheila being shown to now be buff instead of overweight and have this design change of her be permanent.

The End of Serialization as We Know It:

White People Renovating Houses:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Randy Marsh and Gerald Broflovski aired on September 13, 2017 and also have this be the episode which reveals that, after the events of "Skank Hunt", Gerald moved to the same apartment as Randy but the two of them must share the same room together. Also have Gerald replace Heidi as the one who's unsubmissive with Randy replacing Cartman as the one to get annoyed by the unsubmissive.

Put It Down:

Holiday Special:

  • Have Randy actually get in trouble by Stan which results in the angry citizens of South Park chasing then beating him up with the final scene of the episode being a beaten up Randy getting a visit in the hospital from both Stan and, much to his frustration, Gerald.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole:

  • After the townspeople left to buy clean drugs and alcohol from the neighboring town, have Liane arrive to take Cartman home and ground him for 13 weeks.

Hummels & Heroin:

Sons A Witches:

Doubling Down:

Moss Piglets:

SUPER HARD PCness:

Splatty Tomato:

Dead Kids:

A Boy And A Priest-The Problem with a Poo:

  • Erase them both from existence and replace them with a two-parter that features the conclusion to the Buddha Boxes subplot and also another subplot that builds up and eventually leads to Tegridy Farms getting blown up and all its remains left on fire in the climax of the third act much to Randy's horror and devastation aired on both January 9, 2019 and January 16, 2019 and also have part 2 end with a disappointed Randy moving back to the apartment where he eventually remarks that it can't get any worse only to be proven wrong when he sees that he must once again share the same room with Gerald, who's actually happy and excited that he's back, resulting in a horrified Randy letting out one big "NO!" in frustration to end the season off.
  • Have Stan Marsh, Wendy Testaburger, Craig Tucker and Red be the main protagonists of the Tegridy Farms subplot with Kyle Broflovski, Nichole Daniels, Bebe Stevens and Token Black as the main protagonists of the Buddha Boxes subplot.

Time To Get Cereal:

Nobody Got Cereal?:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode focused solely on Stan Marsh and Sparky aired on November 14, 2018.

Unfulfilled:

  • Erase it from existence and replace it with an episode where Randy gets tired of Gerald's unsubmissiveness during his recent visit in Tegridy Farms, then falls into a dream world where everybody is Gerald including himself aired on December 5, 2018.

Bike Parade:

Mexican Joker:

Band in China:

Shots!!!:

Let Them Eat Goo-Season Finale:

Basic Cable:

Christmas Snow:

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