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* Principal Victoria
* Principal Victoria
The former Principal until PC Principal took over after she was caught banging Ike.
The former Principal until PC Principal took over after she was caught banging Ike. She thinks Nazis are racist and won’t allow Cartman to dress as Hitler because it’s inappropriate. But she has no problem with him dressing up as a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Which she thinks are Halloween ghosts.
* School Nurse
* School Nurse

Revision as of 16:59, March 27, 2020

This is the overall basic structure and present characters in my fanon. I.e. Who's alive and who's dead and how they interact.


My Fanon series is based on the early episodes where the gang of four (and sometimes their friends) go on adventures every episode. I'm not a big fan of the PC Principal arc, Trump Garrison vs Canadian Trump or Zaron or Coon and friends. Well ok, I can work with the latter two.

I also don't like major characters being killed off except evil or nasty characters. So Pip, Chef, and Mrs Crabtree are still alive in my fanon.


  • Eric Cartman (Voiced by Trey Parker. And once by Jesse Harnell)

A fat (Big boned) racist bigot. He makes fun of anyone's race, religion or hair colour if they're ginger. It's a reoccurring joke for ginger kids to be some sort of plague in South Park.

He shouts perpetually in a loud screeching voice in a constant tantrum. Until season four where he calms down and speaks more normally in his Screw you guys voice because all the shouting was giving him a sore throat.

He wears a light blue hat with a yellow bobble and a yellow trim and a red coat. Under his hat he has short brown hair.

He lives with his single mother Mrs Cartman and his grey cat Mr Kitty, who is constantly on heat. He regularly screams at his cat to shut up and calls him/her a dildo.

In Cartman's mom is a dirty slut and Cartman's mom is still a dirty slut, Cartman tries to find his father but only finds that his mom has shagged every man in town, even chef!

In Scott Tenorman must die, he finds out after murdering Scott's parents and feeding their remains as Chilli to him that they are actually half brothers and Scott's dad is also his dad.

He has an anal probe from the visitors and so can fart fire, summon a satellite dish from his ass and teleport using alien receivers dotted about town. Sometimes it causes him to act weird and sing "I love to Singa" from Owl Johnson.

His Zaron form is the grand wizard of Kupa Keep. His superhero form is the Coon, a sentient raccoon. His anime/Yaoi form is a fat Sumo with every power imaginable (a real Gary Stu...) because he is a hypocrite and expects his friends to follow the rules when playing but won't follow them himself.

  • Stan Marsh or Darsh (according to the ski resort bullies)

The straight man of the gang to everyone else's silliness or arguments. That doesn't mean he doesn't occasionally encounter silliness in South Park though such as Tom Cruise locking himself in his closet and his Dad, Randy's drunken antics.

He is average build and wears a dark blue hat with a red bobble and trim and a brown coat. He has black hair.

Stan is allergic to his girlfriend Wendy Testaburger and regularly vomits on her or in her presence.

Stan lives with his Mom, Sharon who works at Tom's Rhinoplasty, his drunk Dad Randy who gets up to all sorts of silliness that embarrasses the family, his bully of an older sister Shelly who wears braces and regularly beats him up a lot, his mutant clone created by Dr Mephisto, who beats up Shelly (but mostly causes carnage) and his Grampa who calls him Billy and just wants to die. He also has a pet gay dog who he regularly pleasures with their red rocket game (he masturbates his dog...) sometimes his dog urinates on things. He also once ate Kyle's dead grandmother.

His Zaron form is a warrior/melee class and wields a two handed sword and throws razor disks at his foes. He specialises in Bleeding status attacks. His superhero form is Toolshed, a cybernetic hero with his dad's tools implanted into him. His anime form has nunchucks.

  • Kyle Brokovski

A Jewish red haired boy. Unfortunately Cartman is antisemetic and regularly shouts racist slurs at him. Later when he finds that Kyle has red hair he make fun of that aswell.

Kyle wears a green hat with ear flaps and an orange coat with green gloves. He has a big red afro of hair or jewfro as it is known when grown on a white person.

He lives with his very strict mom Shelia who is also from Jersey, his dad Gerald who is a rabbi, but sometimes causes embarrassment by engaging in Cheesing (having cats urinate in his face to get high so he can visit Nippolopolis) and his adopted baby brother Ike, who is Canadian.

He often likes to kick Ike like a football when they play kick the baby. Until he got found out and got in a lot of trouble with his mom and dad.

His family are practicing Jews so they go to a synagogue instead of Father Maxi's church every weekend. Despite this Jesus still loves him.

Kyle's other family members are his obnoxious cousin Kyle who regularly turns up to annoy everyone and copies his hero form. And his dead grandmother who got eaten and puked up by Stan's dog.

His Zaron form is the high elf king Kyle of the neighbouring elf kingdom. He wields his Dad's golf club and specialises in holy attacks and rallying his many archers to rain arrows upon his enemies. His superhero form is the human kite who can fly and shoot kite lasers. His anime form wields a katana but he originally had tonfas until Buttlord wanted them. He regularly gets turned into a chicken by Cartman's anime form.

  • Kenny McCormick

The poor kid who lives in the slums of south eastern South Park. He wears an orange parka. Underneath his hood he has messy blond hair. He talks in muffled tones so it's sometimes hard to understand him but his friends somehow do. Only Oscar doesn't understand him.

He regularly dies a lot every episode.

Cartman sometimes makes fun of him when he's not being racist to Kyle.

He lives with his mom who regularly lets meth dealers set up a meth lab in their garage, his drunk, lazy Dad who regularly fights with Kyle's Dad, his older brother who fiercely won't share what little food they have (frozen waffles) and his sister Karen.

Kenny's Dad once stole parts of shops from Shi Tpa part of town that were ruined during numerous attacks on South Park to build a bar and cocktail restaurant. The authorities then tore it down later.

He once unintentionally inflicted a stomach virus of violent diarrhoea on the town once.

Kenny is secretly a cheeser (inhales cat urine) and a pervert.

His Zaron form is Princess Kenny a female archer princess who specialises in gross out attacks. His superhero form is Mysterion, an edgy Batman-like hero who's power is that he's immortal and will always comeback to life every time he dies, which is helpful considering how much he dies. His anime form throws throwing stars. However that got them into trouble when Kenny threw a real throwing star at Butters and it got in his eye permanently blinding him in one eye.

  • Douchbag/Buttlord

The silent protagonist of The Stick of Truth and The Fractured But Whole sagas. (Zaron and Coon & friends sagas). He has magical farts, proficient in archery and melee and magic and rogue/stealth and paladin classes. Basically a cheat. And has an anal probe to teleport and call up a satellite and can shrink with underpants gnome dust. He can also make friends on Facebook very easily.

He never talks and is just overpowered in the gang's little games because he has every power for some reason and Cartman just allows it. Because he never talks the gang just call him New Kid, Douchebag or Buttlord.

His parents are regularly arguing with each other. His mom is an alcoholic and his dad is a pot head as he is seen smoking joints or eating pot brownies.

During the unmade timeline where Mitch Connor became mayor he had to sacrifice either his mom or dad.

His fart powers allow him to do many things like shatter boulders, freeze time, rewind time, summon a clone of his younger self as a toddler, fast forward time and time travel.

He once met Morgan Freeman, got abducted by aliens and went up Mr Slave's butt!

He has access to warrior, Mage, Rogue and Jew classes in Zaron and numerous types of superhero in Coon and friends such as a Speedster (The Flash) or plantmantist (Plant control like Poison Ivy)

In Anime form/Let’s fighting love. He has Kyle’s old tonfas.

  • Oscar Tamaki

The weird kid of the gang and on and off fifth member or Kenny replacement should Kenny be remaining dead for sometime. Sometimes that happens, he won't or can't resurrect.

He has ass burgers and acts really weird that the gang doesn't like him when he's acting weird. He is also alt right and has killed people such as PC principal and Butters's parents so the gang don't like that aspect of him either.

He wears a blue sweater with green triangles, green goggles in his wild spiked brown hair, brown shorts and blue sneakers with white socks.

He lives alone with his living teddy bear and his living jack-in-a-box clown thing, Clownja. He lives in the boarded up remains of his dead parents house. Their skeletons are still left where they died when he murdered them.

He gets along with everyone except Cartman when he's not putting people off with his erratic behaviour from his ass burgers or his evilness. He does get on better with some evil characters like Damien and Professor Chaos. But he hates normal characters who are actually jerks.

Oscar is incontinent like Butters and has to wear diapers. That's probably why they're the best of friends.

He likes clowns, junk food and getting his own way. He hates bossy people, grown ups and vegetables and of course Cartman.

He doesn't really engage in the gang's Zaron or superhero games as he prefers to play indoors. Plus he won't accept red Lego on the floor is lava and regularly tries to cross it. He is always in his anime (Let's fighting love) form

He sometimes eats his own ass burgers.

  • Butters Leopald Stotch

The wimpy, babyish kid who easily gets picked on by everyone, even his parents. He is sometimes a fifth member of the main four or replaces Kenny when he is staying dead for a while. However the gang regularly pick on him and Cartman gets him into trouble or pranks him. He got Cartman back though when he needed to get back an embarrassing photo of himself.

He has a small tuft of blond hair on his head. Sometimes it's black when he temporarily wanted to be a vampire. He wears a blue top and light coloured trousers.

He lives with his mom and Dad. His dad regularly picks on him and grounds him for stupid reasons like supposedly making a silly face on photo day at school. Grandma Stotch also lives with them and she is violent towards Butters.

He also has a hamster. (Professor Chaos's minion.)

He is incontinent and regularly wears diapers and takes suppositories. (Ass pills)

His Zaron form is Palidin Butters who wields a hammer and specialises in holy and lightning attacks. However he sometimes doesn't use the Medieval lingo in game (such as referring to the carrier raven as Twitter.) His Superhero or should I say Supervillain form is Professor Chaos, a mad criminal mastermind who causes obnoxious antics such as putting red Lego everywhere as "lava" and buying lots of tin foil for his costume and giant robots. Seriously his tin foil expenses are greater than that of the the entire tin foil budget of classic Doctor Who.

  • Jimmy Valmers

A disabled kid who has to use crutches because his legs don't work properly and sometimes he stutters when speaking and pulls faces. He also has to use disabled facilities like the disabled toilet and ramps.

He has brown hair, twisted mouth and wears a yellow shirt and dark trousers.

He hangs out with Timmy and sometimes Nathan and Mimsy and occasionally Classi the hooker.

His Zaron form is Jimmy the Bard, a Bard class (that's a fantasy class that specialises in music to help allies or hinder enemies) he also wields a crossbow. His superhero form is Fastpass, a Flash-like superhero (super speed).

  • Timmy!!

A very disabled kid confined to a wheelchair with fidgeting hands. He is so low functioning that he can only say his name like a Pokemon. However he once said Gobbles, the name of his pet turkey.

He likes to sing Old McDonald had a farm with his name as the lyrics of course.

He has an on and off friendship with Jimmy. (They once broke up.)

He lives with his equally disabled parents (They too are confined to wheelchairs and can't talk) who are now unable to look after him so they have a social worker/live in nanny to look after them and Timmy. Timmy also has a pet turkey called Gobbles. It once led a turkey rebellion on Thanksgiving.

He has ginger hair and wears a red top. He is always in his motorised wheelchair.

His Zaron counterpart is a mule cart rider whose job is to ferry people across Zaron (South Park). His superhero is Professor Timmy. A Professor Charles Xavier parody with psychic powers. Coon does say the Freedom pals are very much like Marvel.

When he was in Coon and Friends (DC comics) he was the Iron Maiden. An iron maiden torture device made from a garbage can.

  • Token Black

The rich black kid. He lives in Dark Meadows, the heavily guarded mansion in north South Park. Well guarded by a security guard with a zealous preference for pepper spraying people.

He is black, that is all.

He lives with his parents and siblings. Buttlord once got his dad arrested by the racist chief of the police.

His Zaron form is a cleric, but Grand Wizard Cartman tried to change his class to blacksmith. At first he didn't want to join Kupa keep because of its initials...

His superhero form is Tupperware. An Iron Man-like hero wearing armour made of Tupperware.

  • Craig Tucker

The rude, I don't care kid. He has no time for the adventures and trouble the others get into. He has an attitude because of all the trouble the gang of four get into and is fed up with them. He lives with his parents. His Dad really likes Yaoi art of him and Tweek for some reason. His sister, who is one of the possible Facebook friends for Buttlord and his pet guinea pig that his boyfriend Tweek bought for him. He was once in a relationship with a girl. But he is now currently gay with Tweek.

He regularly sasses people or sticks his middle finger up at them. He also won't join the others on adventures and only makes a half hearted attempt at a costume in Coon and Friends. (A piece of paper with the letter S taped to his sweater.)

His Zaron form can make clones. Sometimes a clone come out wrong. His superhero form is just him with a piece of paper stuck to his sweater. He just punches people and flips them off rather than doing super hero stuff.

  • Tweek Tweek

The hyperactive paranoid coffee drinking kid. He has the same name twice.

He has wild messy blond hair. He regularly twitches and is under the effects of a caffeine overdose. He constantly panics.

He lives with his parents and works at their coffee bistro Tweek and Bros.

He is in a gay relationship with Craig.

His zaron form has barbarian face paint and he sort of dresses like a barbarian too. His super hero form has elemental powers of lightning, ice and water. He finds it annoying when Oscar finishes his quote for his lightning attack by Quoting Bohemian Rhapsody.

  • Clyde Donovan

The kid whose mom died. His mom died after getting stuck on the toilet because he didn't put the seat down. The doctor had no choice but to euthanise her by flushing the toilet. The suction ripped out her intestines.

He has brown hair and wears a red sweater.

He lives with his dad, now a widower. He did once have a mom though.

He takes his alter egos way to seriously or turns evil if kicked out of a game.

His Zaron form was the kupa keep shopkeeper but he pissed off Cartman by letting the elves take the stick of truth so he was banished from time and space. However he got his revenge by stealing the stick from kupo keep during the night and blaming it on the elves. He also built his own fortress and used the green alien goo to make an army of Nazi zombies. He also rounded up all the vampire kids and any not in a Zaron faction to join his evil army.

Then Buttlord defeated him.

His superhero form is the Mosquito. A humanoid mosquito hybrid who can drain blood from his foes, spread diseases and takes his role way too seriously and ends up grossing his friends out with fun facts about mosquitoes and diseases.

  • Scott Malkinson

The kid with diabetes. He has brown hair and freckles and talks in a bunged up voice and occasionally sprays people with spit because his teeth are malformed.

His Zaron form is in charge of looking after the kupo keep stables (Where Mr Kitty is kept) his superhero form is Captain diabetes. A hero with incredible super strength when he eats or drinks sugar but with diabetes so he must take his insulin afterwards or he will die.

  • Bradley Bigglie/ Mintberry Crunch

The Cereal mascot... he has strawberry blond hair and is alway in his hero form. He genuinely believes he has actual super powers. And once defeated Cthulhu.

He lives with his mom, who is that one really sweet mom who goes "oh you must be my little (name)'s class! I've heard so much about you! Yeah the real nice mom who's fun and easy going but I bet Bradley finds her embarrassing talking about him to his friends.

He also lives with his dad. Nothing much to say about him. And his mean older sister Henrietta who is one of the goth kids so she regularly has her friends over to practice summoning the devil and err stuff and she is annoyed by Bradley's antics on the account she's an edgy goth teenager and doesn't understand little kids.

Bradley doesn't appear to have a Zaron form. However he does a superhero form as Mintberry crunch. He wears a twoface inspired costume and has the power of mintberry crunch cereal to produce mintiness and berries to defeat his foes. Cartman thinks this is incredibly stupid.

The girls!

  • Wendy Testaburger

Stan's on and off girlfriend. I think she got fed up with him throwing up on her all the time,

Yeah it used to be a reoccurring joke for Stan to be allergic to her that he would vomit. Now it's all story arcs! And poking fun at trends and the PC crowd, Trump, politicians etc.

She once got jealous of the substitute teacher and had her executed by arabs by being shot into the sun.

She runs the girl faction and is their leader.

Her superhero form Callgirl has power over phones and other social media devices. She can cause you to lose all your followers or blow up your phone.

  • Bebe

The blonde girl who lives in the red house just before the community centre, is sometimes Cartman's girlfriend. However he broke their egg for their school experiment to look after an egg. So she dumped him.

  • Nichole

The Token of the girls. I.e. The only black girl in the school. Her family keep nicking the horse fucker guy's house next to Mr Slave and Big Gay Al's house! Luckily the racist chief of police had them kicked out again so the horse fucker could move back in. (Actually her family are the rightful owners...)

  • Kelly

The girl who lives in the orange house that the Mormon family once lived in. Her mom likes to waltz around the house naked! This causes embarrassment when Buttlord barges into people's houses without knocking!

  • Heidi Turner

Cartman's other girlfriend but she kept farting and made him sick. She has brown hair and a green top.

Her family members are her parents and her distant cousin Timmy Turner who lives in Dimmerdale.

Minor characters

  • Kevin Stoley

The Star Trek kid. Regularly mucks up the kids' Zaron RP by using Star Trek references much to Cartman's chagrin. Cartman regularly has to remind him to stop mentioning Star Trek.

  • Fosse and Bill

They often hang out together and say "Hehehe! That's gay!" They were once minor antagonists as bullies who sometimes caused trouble for the gang such as making Stan's evil giant clone.

Sometimes they hang about with Terrance Mephisto.

They might be a gay couple.

  • Dogpoo

A kid covered in dirt. He likes being dirty.

  • Pip

The British kid. He is posh and annoying. No one likes him except Damien but this was all a ruse when Damien found that tormenting Pip made him popular with the other kids that he decided to blow him up.

In canon he got stepped on by Mecha Streisand and died permanently. However in my canon he is like Kenny and keeps coming back after being hurt/killed.

  • Damien

The son of Satan. Possibly the big red gay Satan who was once in a relationship with Canadian Saddam Hussain.

He has demonic powers and once turned Kenny into a duck billed platypus in anger.

  • Trent Boyette

A bully the boys had in kindergarten. However after the accidentally caused a fire that badly burnt Miss Claridge and blamed him he got expelled and sent to juvenile prison. However he was released and wanted revenge. However they got him in trouble after Miss Claridge catches fire again because her Star Trek life support chair caught fire and he was sent back to prison where he won't bother them again for a few years.

He is an extremely dangerous bully, even sixth graders were no match for him. I don't know what would have happened if Shelly had tried to fight him.

  • Nathan and Mimsy

A Down syndrome kid and his mentally retarded lackey. Nathan is always saying "Shut up Mimsy!" and slapping Mimsy. A shark once had sex with him.

He loves watching The Last Mimzy so he can shout "Shut up Mimzy!" at the TV.


  • Luanne Cartman

Eric's mom. She is a slut. She sleeps with every man in South Park. She spoils Eric rotten. Sometimes she puts her foot down though if he's really rude to her.

  • Sharon and Randy Marsh

Stan's parents. His mom is more or less normal, but his dad gets drunk and does crazy things like that time he held them hostage in a video rental store. Their daughter Shelly bullies Stan and Stan's mutant clone beats up their daughter.

  • Grandpa Marsh.

He calls Stan Billy and constantly asks him to help him to die. His late Grampa asked him the same thing and he went through with it. His Grampa's ghost told him he never meant to want to die and regrets asking him.

  • Great great Grampa's ghost

The ghost of Grampa's Grampa. He once visited Grampa after Death killed Kenny to explain to his grandson that he never actually wanted to die and to look forward to life.

  • Shiela Brokovski and Gerald Brokovski

Kyle's parents. A strict Jewish family although Shiela is the strict parent. Gerald just inhales cat urine all day to get high or does silly things like have surgery to become a dolphin.

  • Cousin Kyle

He's baaaaaack!

Kyle's annoying nerdy cousin. He tries to be the human kite from another universe and is generally unpleasant and embarrassing. The boys regularly try to get rid of him. But he always comes back.

Some things he does that are annoying; Being nerdy, being wimpy or whining about things such as his allergies, being fussy about food, having embarrassing or disgusting injuries such as extreme nosebleeds, putting on his Sun tan lotion, mentioning his pimples/blisters, copying Kyle's superhero, interrupting battles in the fractured but whole and cheating in boss battles.

Oscar and Professor Timmy won't let him cheat though because they have the power to annul anything a cheater does.

  • Mr and Mrs McCormick

Kenny's parents.

They are poor because Mrs McCormick is a meth addict and Mr McCormick is too drunk and lazy to work and hates people feeling sorry for him so won't ask for dole money.

Mr McCormick is apparently a cheeser (cat urine addict) like his son, Kenny.

  • Douchebag/Buttlord's parents

They are always arguing and the mom is an alcoholic and the dad is always smoking or eating pot. They live in the red house next to Butter's.

  • Mr and Mrs Stotch

Butters parents. They regularly mistreat their son. The grandma also lives with them.

  • Grandma Stotch

She lives with Mr and Mrs Stotch. She regularly beats up her grandson.

School faculty

  • Ms Crabtree

The angry school bus driver. She screams at the kids to behave and to sit down. (Sometimes she screams at other members of staff.) However she is hard of hearing so the kids take advantage of this to talk about her under their breath.

She has a bird's nest in her hair.

She once left the kids on a bus perched on a cliff to get fuel but ended up falling in love. However this episode was just a dream.

She dies in canon, but not in my fanon.

  • Chef

The school chef. He is a large, jolly black man wearing an apron and a white chef hat.

He is good friends with all the children. However he is very open with his sexuality towards beautiful women and often sings rude songs.

He was once brainwashed by the Super Adventure Club, a cabal of pedophiles. While trying to rescue him he fell from a rope bridge into a ravine and was mauled to death by snow leopards and a bear. However he came back as Darth Chef.

Cartman then had a light sabre battle with him involving light sabre spatulas. He joked he was Cartman's real father after slicing off his left hand (the one Mitch Connor lives on, temporarily killing him) However Cartman refuses to join him and Super Adventure Club's insidious plot and the boys escape.

They eventually succeeded in breaking Chef's trance and when he sees the children in danger he grabs the leader of the Super Adventure Club and throws him down a pit leading to Super Adventure Star's reactor core.

Chef then dies from his life support suit shutting down from damage from the leader's force lightning.

  • Janitor

A Puerto Rican man.

  • Mr Garrison/Mrs Garrison/Mr Garrison again

The fourth grade teacher. He has a hand puppet called Mr Hat but fell out with it over issues with his dad and replaced it with Mr Stick but Mr Hat killed Mr Stick and assumed control over Mr Garrison again.

He was once in a gay relationship with Mr Slave and his boyfriend would help in class as a classroom assistant. However Mr Garrison became conservative and bigoted against gay people so he had a sex change to live with Mr Slave as a woman.

However Mr Slave was gay so he dumped Mrs Garrison and fell in love with Big Gay Al.

Mrs Garrison so became unhappy with being a woman so she tried various methods to become a man again, even losing her original testicles after they were used as Kyle's new knees after he had surgery to become a black man.

Eventually she became a man again.

Mr Garrison once had a rhinoplasty to look like David Hasselhoff but he became frightened of his rabid adoring fans and asked to be returned to normal.

He also replaces the fifth grade teacher Ms Chokesondik after she died.

He also became Trump Garrison to represent Donald Trump of South Park against Donald Trump of Canada. Donald Trump of Canada ended up sealing off Canada with a great stone wall.

  • Ms Chokesondik

The fifth graders teacher with a filthy name! She is a fat woman with long boobs wearing a red top and glasses with a bun in her hair. She is unable to discipline the new fifth graders who moved up from fourth grade (The main characters) so she goes to Dagobah to ask Mr Garrison for help.

She later died at some point so Mr Garrison took over her class.

  • Mr Richard Adler

The Woodshop class teacher. He doesn't like kids screwing around. He sometimes has visions of his dead wife who died in a plane accident. (Depicted in live action!)

He eventually got closure and accepted she had passed on.

  • Mrs Adler

A live action woman. Mr Adler's dead wife. She died in a plane accident.

  • Mr Mackey

The school psychiatrist and therapist. The kids go to see him when they have problems such as identifying their gender etc. He says Mmmmkay a lot.

He has a hoarding problem and a childhood trauma of Woodsy Owl.

  • Mrs Claridge

The former kindergarten teacher until she was burnt alive by a fire started by the main four boys. Kenny, Cartman, Stan and Kyle. She now lives in a Captain Pike life support chair and can only communicate with beeps and the bulbs on her chair lighting up.

She still hangs around the school with her friends/colleagues.

  • Principal Victoria

The former Principal until PC Principal took over after she was caught banging Ike. She thinks Nazis are racist and won’t allow Cartman to dress as Hitler because it’s inappropriate. But she has no problem with him dressing up as a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Which she thinks are Halloween ghosts.

  • School Nurse

Conjoined dead fetus on her head. A plink haired lady with a dead fetus of her conjoined twin brother or sister who never made it attached to her head. She refuses to have him/her removed despite that it scares everyone.

  • Lemmiwinks

The school gerbil. Has his own theme song from the cartoon version of the hobbit when Mr Slave once stuck him up his butt!

  • Unknown Sixth grader teacher

Whoever the sixth grader's teacher is.

  • PC Principal

Took over as principal when Victoria was fired for banging Ike. However he died after being killed by Super saiyan Oscar.

He is very PC and angrily attacks people who make micro aggressions (Inadvertently made an offensive remark). He has a wife and several PC babies.

Of course Oscar killed all of them.

After he died Principal Victoria got her job back to keep the status quo.

Other important grown ups

  • Officer Barbrady

The town police officer however he is incompetent and has a child like mentality. Eventually everyone got fed up and hired a proper police force, albeit a corrupt racist one.

He can't spell properly and forgets his name.

  • Police officers

They work for the new chief.

  • Police Chief

He is far more competent than Barbrady but is unfortunately corrupt and racist. He also is an on and off villain depending on which villain is willing to bribe him to work for them.

  • Uncle Jimbo

Runs the gun store in north western South Park. Easily believes in mythical creatures like the Mexican staring frog of southern Sri Lanka. He once got his nephew Stan and friends in trouble when they asked for help with their essay on Vietnam by making stuff up.

He works with his best friend Ned.

  • Ned

Jimbo's friend and co worker. They were stationed together in Vietnam but an injury rendered him unable to speak without a synthetic voice box.

He once got rendered catatonic by the Mexican staring frog of southern Sri Lanka.

  • Mayor McDaniels

The mayor. She has teal hair or a shower cap on. I can't tell.

She is a very good mayor but is bigoted towards homeless people. Mind you they are very annoying though...

  • Mr Kim/ Dr Janus

Owner of City Wok, the Chinese restaurant. He has an exaggerated accent. He hates the owner of City Sushi and killed him. He also hates Mongolians because they always invade his restaurant and make him serve Mongolian food, and sometimes tear down his wall.

He was revealed to just be a persona invented by Dr Janus to torment Butters.

He can't pronounce City without saying Shitty.

  • Mr Slave

Mr Garrison's boyfriend and then after getting fed up with his hypocrisy he left him/her for Big Gay Al.

He wears a lot of black leather.

He also stuffs things, including creatures and sometimes people up his butt. He once did this to Paris Hilton.

  • Big Gay Al

Owns Big Gay Al's big gay boat ride. Stan's Dog went to his boat ride park to come out as gay. Big Gay Al explained to Stan that his dog Rex was gay.

He is currently married to Mr Slave.

He has lots of gay cats.

  • Dr Mephisto

A mad scientist Doctor who likes attaching anuses to creatures to make mutants. Apparently he has a thing for anuses...

Once created a mutant clone of Stan that caused carnage across South Park. His son apparently died during Mecha Striesand's second rampage in 200 and 201.


  • Morgan Freeman aka Black God

Owns Freeman's Tacos. A Mexican restaurant. Is also Black God from Bruce Almighty and behind the events of various adventures and stuff that happens in South Park.

  • Barbara Streisand/ Mecha Streisand

A singer who doesn't like Matt and Trey in real life so they poke fun at her by portraying her as scary for Halloween episodes Scary vision and in South Park she hunts for the triangles of Zinthar to become Mecha Streisand.

After Robert Smith and several other celebrities destroyed her she came back as Mecha Streisand 2 rebuilt by South Park's many enemies. She squashed Pip.

  • Rob Reiner

A fat guy who hates smoking but likes eating fried chicken. One of several of South Park's enemies who returned to destroy South Park.

  • Tom Cruise

Hides in Stan's closet and refuses to come out.

  • Kanye west

A gay fish. Married Kim Kardashian, a hobbit.

  • Kim Kardashian

A hobbit.

  • Mel Gibson

Is obsessed by his movies and constantly pesters people what they think of them.

  • Rob Schneider

Is a stapler! Then a carrot! Then a Kenny! Then a derp de derp derp!

  • Al Gore.

Former Vice President Al Gore. He bores everyone with slideshows of global warming and thinks ManBearPig is real.

Turns out he was right.

  • Britney Spears

Died after the citizens of South Park went Wicker Man and sacrificed her. However in another time line Oscar helps the boys succeed in sending her to the North Pole. However this causes the creature from Children of the Corn to be unleashed upon the town and he kills nearly everyone until satisfied with an alternative sacrifice.

  • Fonzie


  • The real Donald Trump

Is annoyed by his doppelgängers Trump Garrison and Canadian Trump. He kills them.

He deported all the Mexicans once and built a wall across America.

  • Snooki

Snooki wants Smoosh Smoosh! Talks like a Snarf from Thundercats.

  • Saddam Hussain

Dictator of Iraq.

He appears to be Canadian because he has a flopping Canadian head and a high pitched voice. He even once took over Canada briefly and enacted strict laws forbidding alcohol and banning gay marriage.

However the boys foiled his plan and at some point afterwards he died and went to Hell where he became Satan's boyfriend.

However in the movie Satan gets fed up with him and dumps him for a new boyfriend. However Saddam keeps pestering him and insulting his new boyfriend so Satan kills Saddam again and banishes him to heaven.

However Saddam then annoys God so he is banished back to life now unable to pass on anywhere.

He then changed his face to look like how he did at his trial in real life after being captured.

  • Jared Fogle

He has aids. And probably AIDs too.

He is also a pedo.

  • Cee Lo Green

Yeah I'm looking for something a cartoon apple would wear.

  • Chris Crocker

An Internet celeb. Leave Britney alone!

Joined the boys in the alternate time line of Britney's New Look to get her to the North Pole.

Died after being killed by a giant panda in the internet celebrities waiting room when the boys accidentally started a fight between internet celebrities.

  • Tron guy

An internet celebrity.

Died in the waiting room fight.

  • Numa Numa guy

Dances to Dragonstae Din Tae.

Died in the waiting room fight.

  • Tay Zonday

Chocolate rain guy.

Died in the waiting room fight after being stared at by the dramatic prairie dog/chipmunk and his head exploding.

  • Sneezing Pandas.

Died in the waiting room fight.

  • Dramatic prairie dog/chipmunk

Stares people to death. Got shot by Tay Zonday.

  • Christopher Reeve


  • George Lucas

Along with Stephen Spielberg they rape Indiana Jones and other Star Wars and Indiana Jones characters.

The boys rescued Indiana Jones/Harrison Ford from them.

  • Jennifer Lopez

Married to Ben Affleck. Cartman once pretended his hand was her to annoy her. However his Hennifer Lopez puppet was actually Mitch Conner and Mitch may or may not be an elaborate prank.

  • Justin Bieber

Terrible singer. Was killed by Cthulhu.

  • Mr Jefferson

Michael Jackson under a pseudonym to hide from the police. Accidentally killed Kenny.

He is rather weird...

After he died his spirit tried to possess Ike and ended up holding up the plane to the afterlife.

  • Kathie Lee Gifford

Is actually a little green alien. Mr Garrison tried to shoot her because he had a grudge against her.

  • Honey Boo Boo

Has a pig heart.

  • Tyler Perry

Oh Leeeerd!

Won't leave my Runescape character alone!

More factions

  • Goths

Henrietta and her friends. They won't speak to conformists.

  • Sixth Graders

Bullies that inflict disgusting pranks on people like urine filled balloons.

  • Vampire kids

Kids who think they're vampires. They annoy the goths who get mistaken for them and they also annoy actual vampires.

  • Raisins

Girls who work at the raisins restaurant. A kids restaurant that sells kids food.

They hate Clyde and Buttlord for some reason.

  • Ninjas

Spawns in annoying places demanding a fight. They work for Mr Kim.

  • The Japanese

Fruck you whale! Frack you dolphin! They think dolphins and whales dropped the atom bombs from the Enola Gay as that was the only way to end World War Two. They go around killing dolphins and whales much to everyone's upset, especially Kyle and Oscar.

However when Kyle tells them the truth despite Cartman trying to stop him in Japanese jail He ends up starting World war three!

  • Rednecks

They took our jerbs!

Monsters and entities

  • Scuzzlebutt

A docile creature that likes flowers and has a piece of celery for an arm and Patrick Duffy as a leg.

  • Mexican Staring Frog of southern Sri Lanka.

Was thought to be something the boys made up but is actually real. A staring green frog that makes Cartman sounds and kills with a single look. Those that aren't killed are rendered catatonic instead.

  • A big black scary monster

Eats children who get off of the bus. Has a Canadian head and four crab legs and two arms. A black insectoid monster with glowing red eyes.

  • Jackovsaurs

Incredibly stupid creatures that breed like rabbits. The males are capable of basic speech but the females just make alien sounds.

  • Visitors

Aliens that speak cow and abduct people to put anal probes in them. They also like Owl Johnson.

  • Succubi

Chef nearly married a succubus once. A flying winged monster that can only be stopped by singing her song backwards.

  • ManBearPig

Part man, part bear and part pig. Was encountered in imagination land. However turned out to be real and killed Satan.

  • Najix

A shapeshifter. Tried to have Earth demolished under the orders of the joozians.

Can be anything.

  • Joozians

Jewish businessmen aliens. They eat feasts, go to night clubs and snort drugs and partake in hookers while sucking on each other's jagons.

  • Turkeys

Earth turkeys led by Gobbles.

  • Woodsey Owl

A figment of Mr Mackey and Kyle's nightmares. Was killed by Freddy Krueger.

  • Tooth Decay

Kidnapped the princess of Canada.

  • Woodland Critters

Cute cartoon animals that worship Satan.

  • Clone Stan Marsh

Stan's pet Clone.

  • Crab people.

Looks like crab, talk like people. A race of alien crab monsters that live far below ground. Weak to real time weapon change and attacking their weak points for massive damage while yelling Ridge Racer.

  • Cthulhu

Cthulhu himself. Coon managed to tame him to destroy synagogues, kill hippies and Justin Bieber.

Was banished back to R'lyeh by Mintberry Crunch

  • Ancient ones

Monsters unleashed by BP oil along with Cthulhu.

  • Shub Niggurath

A great old one. Lives in the police station basement. She only eats dark meat as light meat will kill her.

Has many mouths and tentacles.

  • Underpants gnomes
  • Nazi zombies

Created by green alien goo from the Visitors ships.

  • Geldon

A dragon summoned by swearing too much.

  • Giant reptilian bird

A terror bird. Eats Kenny.

  • Guinea creatures

Aaaaaaaawwwww! Guinea pigs! Actually giant killer guinea pigs! I'm startled Sharon! Are you?

  • Mephisto mutants

Each has four asses. Extremely dangerous.

Included mutant Sixth graders and Mutant cousin Kyle.

  • Mr Hankey the Christmas poo!

Sentient poop!

Mrs Hankey

Mr Hankey's drunk wife.

  • Simon, Amber and Cornwallis

Mr and Mrs Hankey's children.

  • Jesus

Son of god and a member of the super best Friends.

  • "God"/Hastur the unspeakable

A hippo frog thing. Apparently God. Although it only lets Mormons into heaven. Later Jesus explains that's not his dad God meaning something has happened to God.

  • The real God.

Long white beard and heavenly robes and a deep booming voice. Yep that's God. Jesus's father too.

Was overthrown by the frog hippo thing Hastur the unspeakable. But the boys and the super best friends get him back.

  • Damien

See the minor characters section. Son of Satan.

  • Satan

A big red gay devil and Damien's father. He also had a relationship with Saddam Hussain once before he got on his nerves and had to banish him.

He then got killed by the ManBearPig.

  • Moses

Looks like the MCP (Master Control Programme) from Tron and deity for Judaism. A member of super best friends. He likes popcorn necklaces and macaroni art.

  • Muhammed

Important figure in Islam and a member of super best friends. However Cartman started censoring him from the episodes and threatening the cartoonists as if he made an appearance terrorists would blow everyone up. Kyle tried to stop Cartman's censorship but encountered Bart Simpson.

Eventually Kyle succeeded but terrorists saw Muhammad and were so offended they blew everyone up.

  • Seaman

A parody of Aquaman and unfortunately mispronounced as something rude. Also a member of super best friends. He can do everything Aquaman can do.

Is also best friends with Kanye West.

  • Krishna

Important deity within Hinduism and a member of super best friends.

  • Buddha

Important figure in Buddhism and a member of super best friends. Is depicted as a fat laughing Buddha.

The Super best friends have encountered many enemies such as a giant stone Abraham Lincoln that they defeated with a giant stone John Wilkes Booth and David Blaine and his suicide cult.

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