Here is the original plot for my story South Park: Religion Exposed. There may some spelling mistakes and a few words missing...yeah.
Plot[]
Act One: Gods don't Exist
The story begins in an unknown street with a lone man, running from something. He is carrying a cube shape object in his hands. After reaching a dead end he is approached by a figure who was chasing him. The man called Erastus tells the figure that he now knows what the figure is up to and that he has no idea what he's tampering with. The figure however brushes the warning off and proceeds to shoot Erastus.
At the same time, inside Mount Olympus, figures of what look like knights are mysteriously brought to life, ready to wreak havoc on the world...
The next day in South Park Elementary Cartman tries to convince his fellow students that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon is real. Just then Mr. Mackey appears and explains that he needs to take Kenny to the principal's office (he also takes Cartman with him because he was, according to Garrison 'being a smartass'). Kenny finds his parents with Principal Victoria, who they all inform Kenny that his grandfather from his mother's side was found dead. Hearing this Cartman begins to obnoxiously yell down the halls the news about Kenny's grandfather, an act which gets him suspended from school.
Later on Butters is given a mysterious staff by a figure in white robes, telling Butters to 'summon him' (though Butters obviously doesn't know what that means). While at Kyle's house Kyle's father Gerald learns that Carol's father was a Greek, after going through Kenny's family records. Learning this Stan's father Randy decides that they should all go to Greece for the funeral (though he's really in it for the sun and beaches).
The next day Kyle and Stan go to the O'Brien residence (Charlie and Becca's new adoptive home) to meet Charlie Pierzynski, who is getting ready for her trip to Greece. Thogh they agree to be supportive of Kenny, they are dismayed when they learn that Cartman is also, even though he doesn't want to go.
Meanwhile, in a different part of America, a group of theologists investigate something, believing they have a breakthrough.
The Marshes, Broflovskis and McCormicks arrive in Greece with Charlie and Cartman. There they go to the village of Alethea where Carol's father was born. While exploring the village, the boys and Charlie meet a boy of Gnostic faith named Andrew. He takes the group to an ancient temple just outside Alethea and tells them the legend behind the village: Long ago when the Greek Empire still existed, Alethea was at war with 'what was left of Babylon (the Gnostics have no idea if the Greek and Babylonion Empires existed in the same time). Their most fierce battle was with the 'Tenebris' when the Aletheans were loosing. That was until the Greek Gods, the Olympians intervened and chose one of the villagers, a young Gnostic woman by the name of Sophia to lead the Gnostics to end the war. Using a special sword, given to her by the Gods Sophia led her people to victory, successfully killing the Tenebris and ending the war. Andrew concludes the story by saying that Sophia's selfless act made her a Gnostic Angel after she died, which was not long because she 'never made it past thirty'. While Stan, Kyle and Kenny are intrigued by the story, Cartman says that it's 'stupid f€#£$%g gay' while Charlie who doesn't believe in religious figures, myths and legends claims its just a story. At the same time Kenny's parents realise with horror that they left Kenny's sister Karen behind, back in South Park.
Meanwhile, in the clouds of Olympus, the Olympians are alerted of something that could threaten the world. Trying to think of a solution they decide to turn to a group of 'half-mortals' (immortal humans) for help, half-mortals who call themselves the Super Best Friends. The Goddess of the Home, Hestia concludes the conversion by stating 'the search for the Keeper of the Keystones and the Keystones themselves is nigh'.
Back in South Park Jesus is hosting his T.V. show Jesus and Pals. While answering questions for callers he is caught off guard when one caller asks how he is still in existence (in other words how did he return to earth from Heaven if it's not the Second Coming). Unable to come up with a answer, Jesus sneaks out to find the answer himself.
At the Stotch residence, Butters tests the staff he was given, to see if it truely is magic. While testing it, he accidentally summons the Iranion prophet Zoroaster. After failing to convince his parents of what happened (they threaten to ground him for 'making it up') Butters realises that the religious figure is harmless. Zoroaster explains that he has been in government lockdown for 64 years, at least until Butters used his staff to summon him. Zoroaster also explains that he wants to see Albert Einstein because the scientist had something to do with his lockdown (not realising that Einstein is long dead). Learning that there is another religious figure living in South Park, Zoroaster goes looking for him, taking a reluctant Butters with him.
Back in Greece the parents panic about leaving Karen behind, much to Kenny's concern, while Cartman complains about Andrew hanging out with the group. During the commotion Kyle stumbles upon a cube shape object and one of the villagers recognises the writing on it as Babylonic, making it valuable. As a result Cartman instantly wants the cube for himself, so he can sell it and get an iPad3. Later on the kids are approched by a masked figure who calls himself 'Dark Matter'. Dark Matter demands to know where the 'Keystone of Babylon' is. The kids do not know he is nor do they want to give him the keystone, which aggravates him.
Meanwhile, a figure arrives in South Park. The figure says his name is Brutos and he is looking for religious figures.
At the same time Butters and Zoroaster continue looking for Jesus, taking a wondering Karen with them during the search. After asking a passer-by if he saw Jesus anywhere, Zoroaster notices that the passer-by looks familiar, before ultimately realising that he is in fact Hermes, the Greek messenger of the Gods.
Hermes explains that he or one of the other Olympians come to Earth every once in a while to make sure everything is alright, but that they must also try to keep a low profile. At that moment Jesus appears and upon meeting him Butters and Zoroaster explain to him the events that happened, while Hermes realises that he is one of the haif-mortals that the Olympians were looking for. The messenger God explains to the confused group his reason for being in the mortal world; the Olympians believe that a great crisis is developing and that Hermes was sent to investigate, while at the same time look for the 'mighty Super Best Friends'. Though reluctant at first Jesus decides to help Hermes and agrees to take him to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, taking Butters, Karen and Zoroaster with him as well. On the way they barley avoid Brutos, who's main purpose to find the religious figures was to kill them.
Meanwhile in Greece, at nighttime, Randy tells the kids the story of a time when the parents were kids. He tells them the time they played a prank on their fellow student Simon Nicoles, involving Denvor Bronco cards. Unfortunately it proved to be one prank too far when it resulted in Nicoles being sent to a mental asylum.
The next day the boys and Charlie are approched by a disguised Dark Matter, who tells them that the keystone is his and that he will give them a reward for finding it. Although Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Charlie are suspicious and reluctant to go Cartman, wanting the iPad3 drags them and Andrew along.
Meanwhile, Jesus, Hermes, Butters, Karen and Zoroaster arrive at the Hall of the Super Best Friends, unaware that they are being followed by shadowy figures. However upon entering the group finds the base completely empty, with only Moses remaining. The Jewish prophet explains that about a year ago the other Super Best Friends received a distress call from an anominous person. Though they went on the mission they have not return. Moses tells Jesus that Krishna manage to leave one distress message for him before disapearing, which only had one word: Nolybab. At that moment, Butters, Karen and Hermes are captured by the shadowy figures, provoking Jesus and Zoroaster to go after them.
Meanwhile, at the Pentagon the General calls an emergency meeting. In the meeting the General reveals that their top secret discovery has broken free, after 64 years of being hidden from the public, much to the shock of everyone in the room. The General concludes that it's only a matter of time until 'religious figures start to run wild'.
Meanwhile, in an unknown building the kids find themselves tied up and surrounded by celebrities (including Nick Frost, Seth McFarlane and Richard Dawkins). Dark Matter appears, stating that these celebrities are all part of the 'United Atheist Movement' also called the U.A.M. whos purpose is to get rid of all the major religions and make atheism the true dominant 'whatever you call it'. He then demands to know the location of the 'remaining keystones' stating that if they found one then they must of found the others, though the kids, who didn't actually found the other keystones refuse to tell them. After many torture attempts (including making them watch him kill Cartman's pet pig Fluffy) Dark Matter decides to take drastic measures and asks the kids if they want to end up like the 'old-fashioned holy beings', causing Stan and Kyle to question him.
Meanwhile, in a separate part of the building, Butters and Karen are held captive in a room with what appears to be a portal. Jesus and Zoroaster arrive to rescue them, only to find that it's trap set up by the atheists in order to use the portal to send them to another part of the world. Zoroaster struggles and almost escapes, but in the process, accidentally breaks the portal, sucking him, Jesus, Karen and Butters into it.
Meanwhile Dark Matter continues to torture the kids, but they are rescued by none other then Nurse Gollum. During the chaos Cartman gets separated from the group and is left behind in the building, leaving his faith uncertain.
Meanwhile, in Olympus, the Olympians learn that the half-mortals are no where to be found in America, but they somehow all ended up in Iraq. Just then the Goddess of Wisdom, Athena alerts The others that Hermes has been captured by the atheists, in response Zeus replies 'ah s£%t'.
Back in America, Gollum reveals to the kids that she is a member of The Order of Religion, a secret organisation that vows to protect religious figures and keep mythology alive. Stan and Kyle then ask what is going on. Gollum explains that the Super Best Friends are missing and that if they don't find them soon, then the atheists might succeed in getting their demands.
Back in the U.A.M. building Dark Matter mulls over the events that happen, assuring himself that he now has two keystones. He begins to monologue-the Super Best Friends are out of the way, the atheists are rising and the only person who could have stopped all this is in the middle of nowhere. He then looks at a photo in victory of the the person who threatened his plas. A photo of Karen...
Act Two: How Many Miles From Babylon
Part two begins in the cloudy realm of Olympus. The Olympians are at a loss of what to do next, until Hestia tells them that the important thing to do right now is to save Hermes. Knowing she is right, Zeus sends Athena and the downer Music, Apollo down to the mortal world to rescue Hermes.
Meanwhile, Jesus, who was knocked unconscious while getting sucked into the portal is awoken by Zoroaster, who tells him what happened and that Butters wetted himself. The groups find themselves in the middle of what looks like the inside of a temple. They then try to find a way out by exploring the temple.
At the same time, the kids and Nurse Gollum are in a plane that is flying to Iraq. Gollum explains that the Super Best Friends were last seen in the ruined city of Babylon, thus she suspects that they could be trapped there. Though the boys and Andrew are convinced to help the SBF Charlie however keeps a firm grip that religious figures don't exist.
At the Pentagon, the General holds an emergency conversation with Professor Vosknocker (the professor from the South Park movie). The General explains that About 24 hours ago their classified discovery escaped from lockdown and the Pentagon sure unsure of how to solve this issue without causing uproar. Vosknocker then suggests activating the 'P-chip that he implanted at the base Zoroaster's skull about ten years ago. With the professors advise they activate, allowing the General and Vosknocker to hear and see things through Zoroaster's point of view on a computer. On it they discover Jesus, Butters and Karen on the computer. Though the General wants immediate action about this Vosknocker tells him to wait and see how things go, believing that this is going to lead to a 'very interesting predicament.
Meanwhile, in the state of Oregon, the same group of theologists are reading an old journal. One theologist, Professor Eisen identifies the writing in the journal as his distant relative's Albert Einstein. While he reads the entries in the journal the other theologists begin to review what they learned: apparently since 1948, falling stars would crash land onto earth, at random years. Though they left crators in the earth, there was never actually anything in the crators. The theologists conclude that this went on until 1992 when the falling stars ceased. Eisen then reads an journal entry out loud, believing it to be important:
I have created this devise, to prove that there is more then just us human beings on this planets. During its testing, I have discovered that it did much more then I had hoped it would do, that this contraption has a side to it more sinister then sincere. Its ability not only brings poof of a religious figure's existence, but from what I have seen poof of their resurrection as well. I fear I may have started a chain reaction that's only going to get out of hand.
After reading this, a female theologist, Winnates comes to the conclusion that Einstein may have found a way to bring religious beings back to life, that the key may in the invention he wrote about. The theologists, except Eisen however dismiss her theory, believing that a great scientist like Einstein would never do something like that (Science and Religion don't mix). However, an African American theologist Rhinestone, believing Winnates may be on to something, sends their best theologists to investigate Einstein's old home, stating 'sometimes, some legends are true'.
Meanwhile, the kids and Gollum arrive in Babylon, but quickly bump into Iraqi soldiers while looking for the Super Best Friends. While escaping from the soldiers they are grabbed by hooded figures in white robes and dragged into a secret passageway.
Inside the temple, Jesus, Karen, Butters and Zoroaster continue trying to find a way out. While walking Jesus comforts the distressed Karen that nothing won't ever happen to her as long as religious figures are always there for people, while Butters complains about agreeing about coming with them, prompting Zoroaster to ask if he is prone to whining.
Before Butters can answer, the group are attacked by a stone statue of a troll. Jesus tries to slow it down with his energy balls, leaving Zoroaster in disbelief that the Christian Prophet has actual superpowers. Unfortunately that doesn't stop the troll, leaving the group no option but to flee. While running for their lives from the advancing troll they find one of the Super Best Friends; Seaman, when Jesus used his name as a form of Marco Pono. The troll catches up to them and Zoroaster, in a fit of panic, uses a gun cannon on it, destroying it in the process. When asked where he got the gun from, Zoroaster replies that he brought a few weapons with him from the Hall of the Super Best Friends. Just then the troll magically regenerates and it is then that Zoroaster realises that the troll is being animated from somewhere. As the troll advances towards the group, Butters falls trough a hole in the floor. The others, knowing there is no other option, fall through the hall as well.
Around the same time, the kids and Gollum find themselves in the same temple, but in a different area, in a room. They are surrounded by white robed figures. Although worried, the figure's leader assures the group that they are not going to harm them, but they just want to tell them something of great importance.
At the same time Butters, Karen and the religious figures survive the fall and find themselves in a room full of paintings in the wall. They are greeted by an eccentric woman, who calls herself 'the Lady of the Temple'. She tells them that each paintings are in fact predictions of events that already happened or have yet to happen (most of these already happened paintings include the 9/11 attacks, Barack Obamma becoming president and the celebrities suing South Park). Jesus then notices a painting of a flying temple, surrounded by dark clouds. The Temple Lady says that it is a bad omen, and unless it can be stopped, the painting will become a reality. She also reveals that not long ago, three strangers went towards the main chamber of the temple and never came out. Believing that she is talking about the other Super Best Friends Jesus tells her to take the group there.
Meanwhile, at the headquarters of the U.A.M. Dark Matter interrogates Hermes on where the location of the other keystones are, believing that the Olympians are connected to them somehow. Just then Athena and Apollo arrive and free Hermes. The three Gods fight their through the atheists, until they break out of the headquarters by making a hole in the wall. Hermes tells the other two that before they can go back to Olympus, they need to make a quick trip to Babylon.
Back with the kids and Gollum the robed figure's leader tells them what is going on. He tells them that they are known as the Pura Fides and that they are guardians of a very important known as the Keeper of the Keystones. He says that they have been around since Abraham, the father of the Jerusalem religions, passed away. Kyle asks Gollum if the Oder of Religion knew about the Pura Fides, but the leader tells them that their existence was kept hidden from the world. He tells them that the Keeper of the Keystones's duty is to be the protector of ancient keystones, given to Abraham by the Olympians, so that the world won't experience a great catastrophe, telling them that the keystones are the items necessary to rise the Hanging Gardens of Babylon from the ground. The kids are caught off guard when he tells them that they already found one of the keystones. Though they deny it, they realise that they did indeed find a keystone when the leader shows them a cube shape object: a keystone of Babylon.
Meanwhile, the Temple Lady is leading the second group towards the main chamber. Zoroaster asks her if this temple is the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, she says that it is, but not the real one, but a replica of it. She tells the confused group that there are hundreds of temple replicas, but some of them were created before the Romans appeared. Just then the group are caught in a booby-trap and after narrowly escaping it, they arrive at the main chamber. Jesus and Zoroaster begin arguing on how the latter is pronouncing 'naive', but they are interupted by Butters when he spots Buddha, Joeseph Smith and Krishna, alive but chained to columns.
Meanwhile, in New Jersey, a group of Rhinestone's 'best theologists' arrive at the old house of Einstein. While exploring the inside of the house, they come across a object that was not seen or mentioned with Einstein's inventions: a thick disc like object with a lamp and a lever attached to it. Believing it to be the invention, Einstein mentioned in his journal, the theologists take it outside. After switching it on they pull the lever, activating the devise. Although it glows a bit, it does nothing more after that, making the theologists believe that Winnates's theory was wrong. As they make their way back to Oregon, one of the theologists remarks 'at least we weren't outsmarted by a girl'.
Back inside in the temple, Jesus goes to free the other Super Best Friends, but is stopped by Zoroaster, who tells him that someone is coming. As the group hide behind some boulders, a cloaked, hooded stranger approaches the chained religious figures. They tell the stranger that he won't get away with whatever he is going to do to them, but the stranger remarks that that the atheists have already won and that the Super Best Friends will soon be out of the way. The religious figures however, believe that this is highly unlikely to happen, with Krishna telling the stranger that religious figures have the power of resurrection, so they can't die, but the stranger corrects the Hindu Deity, telling him that there is one way for a religious figure to stay dead. He then pulls out a conch shell, much to the horror of the chained religious figures.
Behind the boulders, Zoroaster, Jesus and Seaman watch with shock at what the stranger is planing to do. Jesus explains to a confused Butters that a religious figure can be killed for good, if their spirit gets sucked into a conch shell, despite their power of resurrection. Knowing that they have to act fast to save the others, Zoroaster promptly sends Butters to distract the stranger. Though the distraction works, it goes awry however when the stone troll appears and captures Jesus and Seaman. The stranger then proceeds to kill the reunited Super Best Friends, but fortunately, they are all rescued by Zoroaster, who uses an explosive rosary to destroy the troll, columns and subdue the stranger. The stranger's hood falls off to reveal none other then David Blaine, however none of the Super Best Friends remember Blaine (though they remember the giant stone Abraham Lincoln), much to his annoyance. Butters tries to turn Blaine good by making a heart felt plea, but Blaine refuses to listen, with Zoroaster describing the plea as 'F&%#$£g stupid'. Blaine then regenerates the troll and the Super Best Friends, Butters, Karen and Zoroaster quickly leave the main chamber.
While running for their from the troll, Jesus realised that they left the Temple Lady behind, but Zoroaster refuses to go back for her, stating 'no one likes to be around a bitch with volume problems'. Trying to find a way out, Zoroaster suggests they should beak through one of the walls.
Back with the kids and Gollum, the Pura Fides leader says that the Olympians never wanted this to happen. To the kids's surprise he also says that Einstein had something to do with the Pura Fides. Stan and Kyle question about all he said, but before he can answer, the Super Best Friends, Butters and Karen show up, when Buddha used his super strength to break through the wall. They warn everyone in the room about the troll, but it then appears and proceeds to kills the Pura Fides. The leader tells them that the room they are in is directly beside the outside of the temple before he is impaled with stone edge. Getting the idea, Zoroaster uses the gun cannon to blast a hole in a wall to the outside, allowing everyone to escape.
Meanwhile, Dark Matter, using the two keystones, tells the black knights, who are still in Greece that Alethea is now free to invade, calling the knights the 'Tenebris'.
Back in Babylon, the Super Best Friends and kids gather around the dying leader. The leader gives them the keystone, telling them for the world's sake to not let Dark Matter get it. Jesus asks him what they should do now and the leader tells the Super Best Friends to go to Oregon in America, where they'll find a former Pura Fides member named Rhinestone, stating 'he has the answer'. He also personally tells them to protect Karen with their lives, but he dies before he can tell them why (but not before voiding his last bowels). The troll then appears and attacks the group. Though it kills Kenny and captures Gollum, the rest manage to escape when Hermes, Athena and Apollo appear and teleport the group out of Babylon.
Back in New Jersey, at Einstein's old house, it is nighttime and devise that the theologists tested earlier begins to glow again. This time it shoots a beam of light into the heavens. The beam appears to have collided with something as whatever it was, begins to fall from the sky onto earth. It collides with the earth, leaving a huge crator in it.
Back in Oregon, the theologists get word of the crator that appeared and begin to investigate. When Rhinestone learns that the crator is the same one as the other crators that appeared 64 years ago and continued until 1992, he begins to realise, much to his relief that Winnates was right about Einstein after all...
Act Three: Gnostic Angel
Part three begins with Butters giving a monologue, explaining what had happened in the last two stories, from Kenny's grandfather dying to being teleported out of Babylon by some of the Greek Olympians.
The scene then changes to a building, somewhere in Ohio. There, it is the headquarters of the mentioned Order of Religion. Inside their leader Miss Anthrope arrives and demands to know where Nurse Gollum and the Super Best Friends are. One of the members, Ollie explains that Gollum was captured by the atheists and that the Super Best Friends are no where to be found, saying they 'disappeared off the face of the earth'.
In the Pentagon, the General and Vosknocker experience a similar difficulty when they can't get the chip inside Zoroaster to work. Vosknocker concludes that like Ollie said the religious figures have 'disappeared off the face of the earth'. This causes both the general and Miss Anthrope to demand to know where they are if they aren't on earth anymore.
At the same time it's revealed that Hermes, Athena and Apollo teleported the Super Best Friends and the kids to their domain; Olympus. They are greeted by the God of smiths Hephaestus, who opens the gates for them. As the four Olympians lead the group to the Temple of the Gods Andrew becomes ecstatic about actually meeting the Greek Gods.
Inside the temple the other Olympians debate about whether they should go to the mortal world themselves and defeat Dark Matter or let someone else do the job. Hermes, Athena, Apollo and Hephaestus then appear and say that they have the 'chosen half-mortals' with them, introducing them to the Super Best Friends. After a brief, awkward silence some of the Olympians become incredulous that the Super Best Friends consist of religious figures (Zoroaster tried to reason with them that he is not a member), Hestia however, is convinced that they will help them in their mission to stop Dark Matter, while Zeus wonders if their 'agent' (a mortal working for the Olympians, who was heavily referenced by them throughout the series) got their his message at all.
She then explains to them the reality of the situation: a few weeks Dark Matter found one of the Keystones of Babylon and the discovery of the keystones were enough to bring the Tenebris back to life. Andrew becomes alarmed at this statement and asks if his home Alethea is okay. Apollo tells Andrew that Alethea was captured by the Tenebris three minutes ago. Stan asks how he knows that and Hermes explains that Apollo has the power of prophecy, thus he is able to see what goes on in mortal world without visiting it. Knowing that the group came across the Pura Fides, Athena asks if their leader said anything important before he died. Jesus says that the leader gave them one of the keystones, as well as telling them to find someone called Rhinestone and protect Karen. With that Zeus gives the Super Best Friends the task to find Rhinestone as well as the task to protect the keystone from the Tenebris, stating that all four keystones have the power to bring the Hanging Gardens of Babylon out of the earth. The kids agree to help the Super Best Friends in their quest, but Charlie, upset that her belief of religious figures not existing was not true, only does it for her friends and family, not for the religious figures.
Before leaving, Hermes gives the group a special bell that will allow them to return to Olympus if desired. The Olympians then send the Iris the Goddess of Rainbows to open the portal to Olympus, while also sending her to accompany the group. Unfortunately, Zoroaster makes a comment about her size and as revenge, Iris sends the group to the state of New Mexico instead of Oregon.
Stuck in the wrong state the group try to find a set of wheels to get them to Oregon. They come across a gas station where the owner is selling caravans. Unfortunately the owner only speaks Spanish, leading to complications. Zoroaster however, shows his skills in languages by asking the owner if they can buy a caravan in Spanish. Now with a form of transport the group head off to Oregon.
Back at the pentagon, the General and Vosknocker manage to get the chip working again. However they can't get an image on the screen though they can hear what Zoroaster and the people around him are saying. The general decides to send a nuclear missile on the religious figures but Vosknocker stops him, stating they sould wait and hear what they say before jumping to drastic measures.
In the U.A.M. headquarters Dark Matter phones David Blaine, demanding to know if the Super Best Friends are dead yet. He then berates Blaine for not killing them when he had the chance, with Dark Matter stating the atheists who are still alive have been mystically transported to Texas, the kids from South Park have escaped and he is on the verge of loosing it. He concludes that he hired someone else to finish the job before hanging up. He then makes another call to someone else, referring to the caller as Brutus. He tells Brutus to hurry up with the task of killing the Super Best Friends, with whatever methods he'll use.
Back with our heroes, who are all in the caravan, heading to Oregon (with Stan taking the wheel, as the Super Best Friends are unable to drive). During the trip Kyle gets pissed off that the Hanging Garden of Babylon is real, making Cartman's claim about it being real from the first chapter valid. Zoroaster then asks Jesus using energy balls on the troll earlier. Jesus explains that the Super Best Friends all have superpowers that aid them in battle if needed. Some of the members demonstrate their powers to the Iranian Prophet, who is obviously developing some form of friendship with the superhero group. Charlie keeps her distance from the religious figures despite their effort in befriending her and Kyle's assurance that they mean no harm, with Zoroaster stating that she is 'gonna have to put her faith in us sooner or later'.
Meanwhile, the theologists dig deeper into Einstein's 'invention gap'. Eisen finds something that does not make sense: according to old scriptures they found, the patriarch of the Israel religions Abraham knew the Olympian Gods, even though he did not set foot in Ancient Greece. Another scripture says he had a daughter, who stayed in Greece and that he was really from Babylon. As the theologists try to solve the mystery of the scriptures Winnates claims that they must find the religious figures, believing that they can help them, but Rhinestone tells her to wait, saying that they should let the religious figures come to them.
Nightfall comes and the heroes arrive in Oregon. While trying to find answers to Rhinestone's whereabouts Andrew sees a figure fly off into the town of Albany. Just then, Stan notices that the Keystone is gone. Knowing it couldn't be one of the them Zoroaster reluctantly goes off looking for the Keystone.
At the same Brutus arrives and phones Dark Matter, telling him that he's arrived in the state.
Meanwhile the Order of Religion are at a airport, as their flight to Greese is delayed because, according to the air clerk, 'Greese is about to get the boot up the ass'. Miss. Anthrope then asks whose idea it was to get a plane to Greese in order to find the religious figures and save Nurse Gollum.
In the outskirts of Albany, Zoroaster continues his search for the Keystone. Butters catches up to him, much to the prophet's dismay and while searching on the outskirts of the town they both meet a winged female religious figure, who is holding the Keystone. The angel, pointing her sword at Zoroaster demands to know from him why his group had the Keystone and where the other Keystones are. Zoroaster doesn't know what she is talking about and, believing that she is working for Dark Matter, takes the Keystone back from her after a brief struggle.
Meanwhile, the rest of the group go to the outskirts of town as well, where they find a pissed off, but very much alive Cartman, who somehow escaped the atheists and journeyed all the way to Oregon. Cartman berates his friends for abandoning him, but is interrupted when Brutus appears. He says Dark Matter sent him to kill the Super Best Friends and prepares to suck out their spirits with a bazooka that has a conch shell attached to it. Fortunately the group are saved when the caravan, driven by Zoroaster runs over Brutus. After that the heroes and Cartman quickly get in the caravan.
While driving, Zoroaster looses focus and drives the caravan over a hill. The caravan rolls over the hill until it stops into a nearby forest, completely destroyed from the impact. Despite this, the group are all still alive when Zoroaster from inside asks if anyone else wetted themselves.
Meanwhile, the theologist Winnates has apparently separated from the other theologists as she wonders off, looking for the religious figures herself. She then comes across Kyle's brother Ike (who, in a sub-plot, stowed away in Dark Matter's car in the first story and went off on an adventure of his own throughout the course of the series), who offers Winnates a ride in a car he rented.
At the same time, the kids and Super Best Friends survey the now damaged caravan, which they learn is beyond repair. Jesus asks Zoroaster who took the Keystone and just then the female religious figure, saying that she did. The others are perplexed that there is another religious figure among but Andrew quickly recognises her as Sophia, the Hero of Alethea that he told the boys and Charlie about. Sophia explains that it is vital that she finds all four Kystones, stating that a great crisis is developing. The Super Best Friends convince her that they care about protecting the world as she does and they are looking for the theologist Rhinestone and the Keystones because. With this statement, Sophia agrees to come with them but Zoroaster, having had enough of the quest, which he believes almost got everyone killed, goes his own separate way, leaving the group to find Rhinestone without the Iranian Prophet.
Meanwhile, Dark Matter is also at the airport where he gets pissed off at the fact that the flight to Greece has been delayed. He tries to reason with the clerks that it's important that he gets to Greece without much success.
Meanwhile, Eisen is wondering through the forest, trying to look for something, while the heroes go in the same direction where Eisen is (while trying to put up with Cartman's frequent complaints at the same time). While they're walking Sophia and Charlie have a heart-to-heart talk about why Charlie can't put her trust in the religious figures and why she didn't believe in them at first. Sophia tells her that she can't believe everything she's been told about them and that when the time comes, Charlie can believe in them. Just then the group bump into Eisen, who recognises the Super Best Friends. He tells them that he knows Rhinestone and takes the group to the theologist's camp sight.
Around the same time, Zoroaster managed to exit the forest and comes across a highway. While on it he almost gets run over by Ike's car. Though both Winnates and Zoroaster are startled they manage to recover quickly, when Winnates recognises who Zoroaster is.
Meanwhile, the group arrive at the camp site, where Rhinestone is the only one there. Jesus asks what is going on, but Rhinestone tells him that what was happening in the world can wait, as he wants to give the religios figures a brief summary of their existence first. He explains the Pura Fides have been around for centuries, with Albert Einstein being its most famous member. Kyle asks what that has to do with the religious figures existence. Rhinestone replies that 64 years ago Eintein created a devise that he hoped would make the world a better place to live, but what he didn't realise was that it was created to do much more then that. When he activated it summoned a religious figure back from the dead, however the government then put that same religious figure under lockdown to prevent a conspiracy, since atheism was starting to grow roots back then. Butters and the Super Best Friends then realise that Zoroaster was that religious figure and Rhinestone continues, saying that Einstein set up the Order of Religion to ensure that no future religious figure will ever have to suffer the same fate, which proved to be necessary beacause in the next 44 years Einstein's devise was used again and again by his relatives to bring religious figures back to life, including the Super Best Friends (except for Seaman who was 'born' in Imaginationland).
While the stunned superhero group try to take in what Rhinestone said about their existence, Sophia asks about the Pura Fides and their connection to Abraham and the Keystones and Rhinestone explains the legend: on his deathbed, the Olympians appeared to Abraham and showed him a vision that the world will one day fall into war and that it can only be saved by the keeper of the Keystones. What he never revealed in scriptures about him was that Abraham had a daughter named Alethea and believing that her life was in danger sent her to Ancient Greece. During her stay in Greece the Olympians appeared to her and entrusted upon her, the four Keystones of Babylon, granting her the power that only she can control them. Some time later the world did fall into war in the form of the war between Greece and Babylon. The Babylonians were after the temple in the village where Alethea was staying, but they were slowed down by Sophia's intervention. Alethea then used the Keystones to finally end the war in the village, and in her honour the village was named Alethea after the daughter of Abraham. He explains that in order to insure that the world won't ever experience a war like that again the Keystones were separated in different parts of another country that would later become America and the Pura Fides was set up to protect the Keeper of the Keystones and insure that the Keystones remain a secret.
Kyle asks what Karen has to do with the Tenebris and the legends. Rhinestone suspects that Karen may be a direct descendant of Alethea and thus, the next keeper of the Keystones. He then explains that the temple the Tenebris were after may have been the real Hanging Gardens of Babylon (the same temple that Andrew showed the boys and Charlie in the first part). He then gravely says that if the Hanging Gardens are discovered, then the world is doomed. This makes the Super Best Friends decide to go to Greece and stop Dark Matter, who they suspect is trying to uproot the Hanging Gardens.
While preparing to go to the nearest airport (despite Eisen's warnings that flights might be delayed) the group, Eisen and Rhinestone run into Brutos again. In the brief fight Brutos manages to kill Jesus by sucking out his spirit, leaving him lifeless, much to the horror of the theologists, kids and the Super Best Friends. Brutos then goes into his ship and flies off.
Meanwhile, while Ike is driving, Winnates explains to Zoroaster her version of Rhinestone's stories. Though intrigued by the truth about his existence and Alethea he is still reluctant to help in anyway, believing he is not a hero like the Super Best Friends and Sophia. Winnates however convinces him to return to the others and not worry about trying to be like the others but to be a hero in his own right.
Meanwhile, the kids and the remaining Super Best Friends grieve over the loss of Jesus, but Rhinestone tells them that he can still be saved. He explains that if someone was able to break the conch shell, it would free Jesus's spirit. Feeling rejuvenated by this, the superhero group decide to go to Greece to rescue their comrade's spirit and defeat Dark Matter once and for all. Cartman however is less then thrilled about going on a what he believes is a 'suicide mission' and that no one cares about the Super Best Friends, but Stan tells them that the boys owe it to them because of the number of times they saved their lives. Just then Joeseph Smith finds the rainbow Goddess Iris in Kyle's jewfro (Zoroaster threw her in there earlier in this story). Sophia convinces Iris to teleport herself, the kids and the Super Best Friends to Alethea in Greece, which the Goddess does.
As the group (except for Butters and Karen, who both chose to stay behind) are teleported to Greece, Rhinestone begins to worry if the Prophet of Ancient Iran will still be reluctant to join the the fight against Dark Matter.
Act Four: The Wrath of Dark Matter
The final story begins with a monologue saying that at the heart of every myth and legend lies a speck of truth. They all may seem like just myths, but when reality becomes a myth, the myths become reality themselves. The monologue then says that a grave evil will soon be unleashed upon the mortal world and that it will take the involvement of one holy being to stop it. The monologue concludes that it takes five kids to save the day, but it's going to take seven religious figures to save the world.
In the village of Alethea, the evil knights the Tenebris wonder the conquered village, imprisoning villagers they see. Hiding behind a pillar, the boys, Charlie, Andrew and the Super Best Friends (minus Jesus) observe the fiasco that struck the village. Stan and Kyle wonder where their parents were while Sophia focuses on looking for the Alethian temple. At that moment, several of the Tenebris appear and go for the heroes, provoking the Super Best Friends to fight back.
Meanwhile, back at the theologist campsite, Winnates and Ike arrive with Zoroaster. Butters is happy that the prophet came back, but Zoroaster is still reluctant to help with saving the world. He then sees the lifeless Jesus and asks what happened to him. Eisen explains the events that occurred in the prophet's absence and Rhinestone reveals where his comrades are. Deciding that today's the day to be a hero, Zoroaster rings the Olympian bell, allowing himself, Butters, Karen, Iris, Ike and the theologists to be teleported to Olympus (taking Jesus's body with them as well).
When the group arrive in Olympus, they find the Olympians waiting for. Athena says that the Gods knew they were coming, because of Apollo's gift of prophecy. They also reveal that Ike is their 'agent' and they know what happened to Jesus and where the other main heroes were. Zoroaster and Winnates try to convince the Olympians to help them defeat Dark Matter, but Hestia explains that they are no longer able to get involved in mortal affairs because of the 'Deity Peace Treaty'. Zeus says that the only exception was when they separated the four Keystones of Babylon, which was long before the Treaty was signed. Zoroaster is stunned that there are four keystones, which Hermes explains that the forth and last keystone has not yet been found, while Dark Matter has two of the keystones and the Super Best Friends have the other. Rhinestone believes that even if Dark Matter doesn't have the forth keystone, the world will still be in danger. The Olympians agree and tell Zoroaster to follow them to Hephaestus's temple.
As they lead him and the rest of the group to the temple, Athena explains that the blacksmith was working on a weapon that will help them destroy the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Inside, Hephaestus presents Zoroaster with the 'Olympian blaster' which is a white and golden blaster with wings. Athena says that Zoroaster will need it to aid him in his fight. Zoroaster takes the blaster and tells Iris to teleport him and the others (minus Ike) to Alethea 'no turning back style'. Before being teleported, Hestia warns them to use the blaster at the right moment because Zoroaster will only get one shot out of it.
At the same time, the Order of Religion arrive in Athens, much to Miss. Anthrope's frustration because they were supposed to go to Alethea.
In the Pentagon, the General and Vosknocker finally manage to get the chip image on the screen. On it they realise that Zoroaster must be somewhere in Greece, making them wonder what he is doing there. While watching the screen they realise that he is not alone as he has the main theologists, Butters and Karen with him.
In Alethea the Super Best Friends continue to fight the Tenebris, but they are easily overcome and them and the kids are captured and taken to the temple of Alethea. Inside, they find the kids's captured parents and Dark Matter waiting for them. The Tenebris, on Dark Matter's orders, encase the Super Best Friends inside a giant glass bowl, taking the third keystone from them in the process while they keep a firm grip on the kids. Cartman tries to convince the villain to let him go and keep his but Dark Matter isn't fooled, stating that he's smarter then the boys's parents. Sophia yells that the Gods won't allow him to awaken the Hanging Gardens of Babylon but he believes the opposite. He then surprises Randy by saying his name after the latter tries to convince him to stop what he is doing. The villain then pulls off his mask and reveals himself to be none other then Simon Nicoles; the parent's old classmate.
Outside the village, Zoroaster and his group try to figure how to get to the temple. Eisen suggests that they travel beneath the Tenebris, which Zoroaster asks how they are going to do that. Rhinestone then approaches an entrance to a sewer, stating if there's one thing he's learned about sewers, it's that they always lead to where you want to go. Zoroaster thinks that's impossible, but Winnates convinces him to trust the theologist. The group then travel through the sewer, to the temple.
Inside the temple, the parents are shocked that their old classmate was behind the plot to awaken the Hanging Gardens. Brutos then arrives with the conch shell with Jesus's spirit trapped in it. Nicolas assures the Super Best Friends that they'll join their fallen comrade soon enough, as soon as he has all the keystones. Andrew tries to convince Nicolas that he doesn't know what he messing with, but the villain tells him that he knows what he is doing, even more so then the heroes. He also says that it's all because of their parents, provoking Stan to question him.
Nicolas explains that he was consumed by the prank that his fellow classmates played on him as child, which resulted in him being sent to a mental asylum. During his time there, he tried to think of ways to exact 'sweet, painful revenge' on them. It was in his late teens that he seized the moment by researching a Greek village named Alethea. He learned, through researching the village, it's war with Babylon, the four keystones, who the village was named after, he also learned about the Abraham family tree and the Olympians's involvement in the village and how the Alethean temple resembles the temple of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. When he was in his early adult years, he was let out of the asylum because, according to the nurses, Nicolas wasn't mentally unstable, but just 'very disturbed in a good way'. He then had his chance to destroy the mountain town he called home, starting by assembling a small army of atheists, which was how the U.A.M came to be. Although the atheists were unaware of Nicolas's true intentions, they did help him in learning about a superhero group called the Super Best Friends. Knowing the superhero group would be a thorn in his plan, along with the Keeper of the Keystone, he hired David Blaine to kill them. An act which he failed to do, so he hired Brutos to finish the job. Of course, this led to a wild goose chase, he did succeed in getting rid of one of them. Nicolas concludes that before he hired Brutos and still had Blaine, he located one of the keystones, in the hands of a Pura Fides member named Erastus, who it turns out is Carol's father and Kenny and Karen's grandfather. Nicolas says that he had to kill him to get the keystone, thus starting everything that has happened up to now.
The South Parkers are stunned by Nicolas's story, but Sophia tells the villain that even if they fail to save the world, there one other religious figure who will do just that. That's when Nicolas realises that Zoroaster isn't there with them. Although the Super Best Friends believe that he won't come back to save them, Sophia has faith in the prophet, but Nicolas believes that Zoroaster won't play a part in defeating him.
Directly underneath the temple, Zoroaster and Winnates listen to the voices above the surface (Butters believe they're throwing a surprise party, much to Zoroaster's annoyance). Rhinestone believes that it is up to them now to stop Dark Matter, but Eisen has just about given, convinced that the villain will be prepared for what ever will come at him. Using Jesus's wrist watch, Zoroaster contacts Moses at the Hall of the Super Best Friends and asks if he has a plan to rescue his comrades. When the Jewish Prophet can't think of anything, Zoroaster decides to go in there head first and stop Dark Matter, much to the protest of the others. Fortunately, he is stopped by Moses, who says that he might have one idea.
Up on the surface, Randy keeps not getting Dark Matter's plan, much to the latter's annoyance. Kyle tells him that there are hundreds of 'fake' temples around the world that look similar to the Hanging Gardens and asks the villain how did he know which one was the real temple. Nicolas explains that in order to know which temple is real, one was look into the roots of the ancient towns, cities and villages, not just ancient temples. He goes on, stating that if you look into those roots and their connection with other places then you know that you have find the real temple. He states that he has been looking for the Hanging Gardens of Babylon for almost ten years and know that he has found it his plans to destroy South Park will go as planned and the Super Best Friends have lost.
Stan protests, stating that the Super Best Friends haven't lost, as long as they are united in religious harmony. Dark Matter believes that religion failed to stop him, but Stan points out that it hasn't fully failed. He goes on, saying that while religion has disadvantages and that some religions teach different things, it can rise on top as long as we can learn and use a bit of all of them. Stan concludes by saying that while science and religion have their differences they can work hand-by-hand. Dark Matter becomes incredulous at how Stan would make a 'gay little speech' just to save one town. This leads him to point out in a almost rant like remark how South Park is full of nothing but 'drunk, idiotic, redneck assholes', even going so far as to point out the stupidity they caused in past episodes.
During his rants, Dark Matters fails to see Zoroaster sneaking behind the villain and Tenebris to the exit of the temple. He opens the doors, ushering the parents to escape and promising to come back for their kids. After Dark Matter finishes he finds the parents gone, with just the kids, the Tenebris and Super Best Friends inside the temple. Zoroaster then reveals himself to the villain and demands that he let his fellow religious figures go. Dark Matter sends the Tenebris to get him but Zoroaster uses his staff to set the dark knights on fire. Butters, Karen and the theologists then appear and help free the Super Best Friends, leading to a fight.
During the chaos, it is revealed that Rhinestone had the forth keystone all along. While everyone else is distracted, Dark Matter places all four keystones in their pedistolls, thus activating the Hanging Gardens.
As the temple rises from the earth, Zoroaster tells the theologists to get out, which they do, despite protesting. The exterior of the temple then breaks apart and the Super Best Friends and Brutos fall off the edge, presumably to their doom.
On the surface, the citizens of Alethea watch with horror as the long dormant Hanging Gardens of Babylon now floats in the sky. Rhinestone says that it's now going to take a miracle to defeat Dark Matter. Brutos then appears and gets his pants stuck to a poll, exposing his ass.
On the third floor of the Hanging Gardens, the Super Best Friends are revealed to still be alive with the conch shell that has Jesus's spirit. Zoroaster gives the conch shell to Sophia and tells them to break the conch shell the release the spirit and revive Jesus while he runs off to confront Dark Matter.
At the top of the Hanging Gardens, the kids hide behind a fallen columne from Dark Matter. Charlie asks if they are going to die, which Stan replies 'probably'. Cartman then tells Kyle that if they make it through this alive, then he owes him an iPad3 because Cartman was right about the Hanging Gardens of Babylon being real. Kyle then gets pissed at Cartman for putting an iPad3 first over the safety of other people. At that moment Zoroaster appears and tells Dark Matter to give up, but the villain refuses. Zoroaster then tries to get to the keystones, but finds that the keystones are protected by a barrier of some kind. Dark Matter then takes out Brutos's spirit sucking gun, preparing to use it on Zoroaster.
Charlie rushes in front of the prophet and says that the villian can't kill him. Dark Matter points out that he's not like them but a immortal human, a religious figure. He asks Charlie why she is suddenly helping a religious figure, despite having her doubts about them existing. She responds by saying that religious figures are people too. She continues with a heartfelt speech about religious figures trying to live ordinary everyday lives, like regular humans, despite them being holy beings and must be treated with the highest regard.
At the Pentagon, the General and Vosknocker watch Charlie make her speech. The General is deeply moved by her speech and this makes him wonder whether keeping Zoroaster from the world was wrong.
Back with the heroes, Dark Matter is less then touched by Charlie's speech and proceeds to kill Zoroaster. Just then, the Super Best Friends appear and the now revived Jesus uses his Halo to knock the gun out of Dark Matter's hands. The villain then notices Karen going through the barrier to the keystones. Dark Matter is incredulous and Sophia says that only a descendent of Abraham can break the barrier. Dark Matter tries to stop her, but Cartman sets the villain on fire by farting the flames. The barrier then breaks, allowing Zoroaster to use the Olympian Blaster to destroy the keystones.
However the Hanging Gardens of Babylon begins to slowly crumble away and the heroes have no way of escaping. Believing that this is the end, Kyle begins to express his love for Charlie, but just then Ike appears, driving a chariot, drawn by Pegasus. The heroes then get on the chariot just in time before the Hanging Gardens explode.
Butters then gives another monologue, this time about how Ike dropped the heroes off in Alethea, which was destroyed by the Tenebris invasion. Zoroaster and Sophia were invited to become Super Best Friends for their heroic acts. The government recognise the religious figures as honorary citizens of America. Karen was reunited with her family and Dark Matter's faith remains unknown, given that he did not escape with the heroes and his remains were not found.
The scene then changes to the destroyed Alethea, where the parents are happy that for once, it's not their town that gets destroyed. Charlie questions Kyle about what he said in the Hanging Gardens and he responds by saying that being close to death does strange things to people. Cartman is pissed that he didn't get an iPad3 for saving the world and verbally takes his anger out on the Super Best Friends, which results in Joeseph Smith using his ice breath on Cartman. The Order of Religion then show up and Miss. Anthrope demands to know where the Nurse Gollum. While she is ranting, Krishna finds Gollum stuck in a hole, as the Tenebris trapped her in there after she was captured. Kenny then appears and asks Stan what he missed.
In the outskirts of the village, Zoroaster is sitting on a stump, in deep thought. Sophia appears and asks him what was wrong. Zoroaster answerers that he never realised how fragile the world was until Dark Matter tried to destroy it. He explains that in the past few days that he has been with the Super Best Friends he learns that the world needs protecting and people to guide it in the right direction. Sophia the asks what made the prophet change his mind about coming back to help. Zoroaster simply replies that he needed to learn to be a hero in his own right. Sophia and Zoroaster then return to the village together, implying a possible romance between the Gnostic Angel and the Iranian Prophet.
In the village, Randy goes into yet another obsessive phase by demanding to get to a beach, much to Sharon and Stan's embarrassment. Seeing this, Jesus remarks that he thought his father had issues. Kyle then says that after the adventure they had, he believes that they won't go on anymore for a while.
Inside the temple from the second story, the Lady of the Temple is revealed to be alive and painting more pictures on the walls. The many paintings depict the Super Best Friends on many more adventures like the one they were on, thus setting the stage for The Tweek Tweak. The Temple Lady however in unconvinced by these painting, replying 'I'll know it when I see it'.